- Most of us have the unrealistic hope this will never happen to us and that we can continue to live the good life without change.
- How can we cope with the difficult changes that will inevitably occur in all of our lives?
- How can we discover new directions and possibilities that can help us adjust effectively to change?
Change is Inevitable. Whether we suffer a painful loss, or endure the breakup of a relationship, or lose a job, we can never escape the consequences of change. Although we may vaguely sense that someday change will happen, most of us continue to hope that change will never happen to us and that we can build an unchangeable life that will always be perfect. Unfortunately, that is an unrealistic expectation which can often be shattered unexpectedly.
If we concede that change is inevitable in our lives, than the next question is how do we cope with this constant in all of our lives? Of course any change is difficult even good changes require some adjustment, but difficult changes can often cause emotional distress. After acknowledging that we have suffered a painful occurrence in our lives, we then must begin to plan on how we will move forward and replace what has been lost with something new that will help us to heal.
“Everything changes. Nothing remains without change” –Buddha
Examining new options and possibilities is always difficult and takes time and energy to implement, so we also need to build the strength and courage which will allow us to begin to move forward on these new paths. If we find that we can’t do all of these things by ourselves and need more support, then we are fortunate to live at a time when that support and help is available through counseling and support groups. When we have again rebuilt our lives with these new options, than it may take some time and patience and effort to feel comfortable with this new adjustment. Change is never easy and that is the reason that so many people have difficulty with it.
To change from something that was comfortable to something new and different is hard for many people to accomplish. It causes fear and stress to try new things that we have never done before. It is important however that we have courage and move out of our comfort zone for a while or we can never rebuild our lives after a difficult occurrence that requires change.
We can take courage from the fact that we do not face these challenges alone or have not been singled out for this painful experience of change. All human beings will, at some time or other in their lives, have to endure and cope with the daunting challenge of change.
To focus on what is still available to us, rather than on what is past, helps us to look for new possibilities, and to understand that each phase of life requires inner strength, new creative adjustments and the desire and determination to find that contentment that is still possible for us to discover and enjoy.