- Why does an abuser abuse?
- What makes a normal person tick?
- Why is abuse not spoken about anymore?
She was sleeping, she had swept, done the dishes and cleaned the house.He was working late as usual. He walks in kisses her first and says, what’s for dinner honey? She serves his plate with a beer on the side. She’s still sleepy from waking at 5 am to make him breakfast before he leaves for work. He looks at her and says, did you warm this up? She looks at the food that has been sitting on the stove for hours and realizes she hadn’t warmed the food.
She quickly takes the plate, but before she can get it too the warming oven he slaps her face. Then yells for her to clean up the mess of the food she just spilled. Hr grabs his beer and leaves the kitchen. She looks at the mess and cries why me god? Why did I have to meet and abuser? My parents warned me about Malancet but I married him anyway. I want to leave him but I have
No money and no job. He won’t let me leave our small house in the suburbs.Help me god, she cleans the mess and leaves the kitchen to wipe her face when she’s done, she warms his food and calls him into the kitchen to eat his dinner. He laughs, then throws the warmed food on the floor before choking Marina. She begs for him to stop, before crying,” she can’t breathe”.
I want my dinner on time from now on bitch! Don’t you be late again, or you won’t breathe. I’ll kill you! Yes Ma lancet, he slaps her face again and again! She screaming at the top of her lungs, the neighbors finally come to the door. Hello, is there anything we can do for you Marina? Her neighbor asks No, we’re fine Jana just go home! If you don’t stop beating her I’ll call the police. Just as she says it the police arrive. They take Ma lancet and put him in handcuffs. Marina cries and says when will he be back he has work tomorrow. The neighbor states what she heard and Ma lancet is going to be charged with domestic violence. Marina he’s going to jail honey. Go with Jana get away from your house for awhile. Marina walks slowly with her neighbor to her house down the street.
This is only one story about domestic violence. It’s also only one type. This is marital domestic violence. There are so many different types of domestic abuse. There is spousal, child, institutional. These are only some of the types I have experienced. I’m writing from experience.
“I couldn’t believe that my ex-husband was about to attack my 18 year old son.” I walked down the stairs to my ex who had abused me for years earlier and sternly looked at him and said,” I don’t think so!” “You are not about to hit my son!” So my ex-husband walked down the stairs away from my son who was angry, and walked behind me outside. my ex locked the two of us outside while I called the police from my phone. We waited as the officers arrived, I explained what happened. Their dad was not arrested, neither was I. Instead, “I was told I wasn’t a resident and had to leave”. I didn’t have anything my clothes in a roll away, My kid’s saved my life. I left that night and went to sit on a bench at a shelter almost 50 miles away. I cried, and asked god “why my life was the way that it is?”
As I sat there waiting to be admitted into a women’s shelter I realized how many times I had left them. I visited faithfully, every two weeks I asked them if they’d like to come with me away from their father? and,” no mom,” “we don’t want to leave our friends”. Was always the answer. Now the sun had come up and I was going into the shelter again. The problem is they take my mail. There are still missing checks and credit cards. They’re so snotty and hateful some of the staff. I’m always being talked down too, and told, “if I can’t accept the rules to get somewhere else to go,” even when I’m not breaking any. I’m always missing money from her my bank accounts and always the laughing stock for the staff people at these places, because I keep coming back.
“Why can’t I afford a stupid house”? Better yet a stupid better life? I need respect and dignity like everyone else, and they are depriving me of both. Like so many women, I accepted my problems and realized I couldn’t fight if I needed these places. Then one day a staff person from the shelter got nasty toward me,she was directing me about my roommate. I got mad and I didn’t see what the issue had to do with me because the girl had issues. It was the moment that I stopped trusting anyone.
I still fear for my life in both directions. My ex and other people with hate towards me. It scared me and I had previously reported bad staff people but there’s something familiar about this woman’s attitude. She treats me a lot like my mother did when she got angry. She always made me feel useless, helpless and like poor me, the staff however is stern, and beyond reproach. I’m that woman and I’m still battling to get my house in order. If she’s stealing from her clients how is she beyond reproach? If she’s picking on her clients how is she so great? If she isn’t doing her job by the book how is she keeping her job? I asked these questions and through counseling I found that being open to change is necessary. No matter what you think you don’t have as assets someone else could see it differently, and make your life hell if their in a position too. My attitude is to treat people like you want to be treated.